When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' - Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)

You've never lived until your Boss screams at you, "What's WRONG with YOU !!" 

Seriously.

It's part of my job to collect maintainence dues for the developments that I run. Things have been tight recently. Lots of major expenses and income slowed to a bare trickle. This week, the account dipped into the red. 

I've been trying to collect dues from members of my Board of Directors and regular owners for the last month. I start slow, just calling them up and letting them know that they are outstanding. I ask them if they want me to mail or e-mail copies of their invoices. Most of them say yes. 

I let a few days pass by and call up again and say,

"Just checking to make sure that you received those invoices?

-"Oh, you did ? Great, when can I expect a cheque?"

A few days later I rinse and repeat. I sometimes end up talking to secrataries or owners and sending out more copies of invoices ten or so times before I actually get a cheque in hand. Debt collections is not easy.

This particular Chairman of the Board had promised me a Large Cheque at the end of October. I went ahead and paid bills based on the expectation that I would receive that money at that time. That obviously did not happen. So, I escalated, calling him every other day and leaving messages to the tune of, "Hello Mr. X, this is Z from Company Y, just calling to remind you about your outstanding invoices. Please give me a call at XXX-XXXX."

So, I got a text message on Monday from him, letting me know that he was away and would be dealing with the invoices when he came back.

Ok, no problem.

So I am making calls to other outstanding owners today and come across his name again. Think to myself.."Hmmm, I wonder if he is back yet ?"

So I call his office. I talk to his assistant who assures me that, "Why yes, Mr. X is in the country." ( In a tone of voice to the effect of What is she smoking?)

More on this in a bit...

So I rinse and repeat yet again. Call up his cell and leave another message. "Hello, this is X calling from Blah blah blah". I hang up and move on to the next outstanding amount.

Two minutes later, my phone rings. I have caller ID and so I see that Mr. X is calling me back, cool, I reeeaaaallly need that money.

"Hello Mr. X I see you got my message."

"DID YOU NOT GET MY TEXT ON MONDAY ?"

"Well, yes I did-"

"Well then WHY are you calling me? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU??!!"

"The bank account - "

"WHY AREN'T YOU CALLING MR. Y, HE'S NEVER PAID"

"I am calling all of my outstanding Board Mem-"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THEN??!!!"

"Mr. X, I spoke to you about your outstanding-"

"I Told You I Would Deal With This When I Came Back Into The Country."

*He Hangs up Phone*

*I burst into tears of rage and frustration*

So yeah, my Chairman,  who I thought was a reasonably decent guy who I haven't had a single problem with in the last two years I have been working with him, Boldfaced LIED to me.

Out of the County My ASS.  No Wonder his damn secratary sounded like I was totally crazy when I asked her if Mr. X was back. I doubt he ever fucking LEFT.

I really need a raise if I have to deal with this Bullshit.

Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse. Molly Ivins

Soooo, I've had an issue rolling around the back of my head for the last week. 

I think I'm pregnant.

I haven't tested yet, but I am as sure as anyone can be.  Today was the latest that I have every gotten my period, so it was still academic before this morning.

I can't decide how to feel about this. It was certainly unplanned and I am not very happy about it. 

I have told the BF about the fact that my period is late. This is only because he came home unexpectedly today and found me in the middle of hysterics. Not the best way to tell him that he may/may not be a daddy.

I found myself asking what else life could throw at me this year. It's been a hell of a ride, and it still isn't over.

Edited to say:Just found out I'm not pregnant.

Steven Wright - “Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”

Various things have come together in my life to make this year a particular challenge. 

We have had random major expenses throughout this year, from both of our cars breaking down, to the BF being hospitalized to my food budget tripling. My dominant emotion this year has been worried, this has caused a ripple effect throughout all facets of my life.

My relationship with my mother suffered. I often describe my mother as a hypochondriac with a chronic disease. What I mean by this is that she does have a disease, but she uses it as a crutch to get attention. If you read through her 4 inch thick medical file, you will find more than a few recommendations for psychiatric evaluation because of this. I don't think that anyone else in my family (even my father) knows this besides the BF and myself. Everyone else gives her the attention she craves and I get described as "cold". When I am under stress I simply cannot deal with her drama, especially since she engages in behaviour that would be described as "self harming". Getting calls at 2am because she thinks shes having a heart attack after yet another drug reaction has seriously undermined my abilty to give a shit.

We started out the year stuck in my parents house with my mother, as we had rented out our apartment and she was supposed to be living abroad with my father for another 2 months. I eventally had to ask our tenant to leave early because tensions between my mother and the BF had gotten to toxic levels. We didn't leave soon enough and my mother ended up picking a fight with the BF that at that stage he was only too happy to finish. Of course this ended in my mother in hysterics and telling me that he wasn't good enough for me. I ended up sitting her down and telling her to act like an adult. She didn't speak to me for quite some time after that.

The Bf and I have had the most serious problems in our relationship this year. There were a few times this year when I was making a minute by minute choice if to stay or go. I don't know if it was the same with him, but I suspect it was. 

I don't know which came first, the problems, or the depression, but I have found myself wrestling with mild depression again, for the first time in a decade. I remember these feelings, these toxic thoughts. I was never bad enough to be medicated, but it is a constant fight. I find myself obsessing over my mental health (Am I slow today because I didn't sleep well? Am I sad because of that story I read, or is this abnormal ?) and pushing everything else to the side, which means that the depression wins. My jobs, my love life, everything suffers. I haven't discussed my depression with the BF at all. I don't want him to compare (even in his head) the paralells between my mother and myself. That would just break my heart.

I know that the depression has been able to gain a foothold because my self-esteem and self image has been dealt a blow. I quit smoking two months ago and have packed another 20 lbs onto an already obese frame. I can no longer pretend that I am anything other than disgustingly fat. And yet, I can't stop shoving crap in my mouth constantly. To say that I have an "addictive personality" is a joke. I am the definition of addictive personality, I've just traded ciggarettes for a wildly innappropraite diet. 

Still, there is light at the end of this particular tunnel. I am gradually applying what little control I do have onto myself. I am slooooowly learning to cook, instead of buying take out every damn day. I have cut my coca-cola drinking to 20 oz a day instead of the 2 litres I was up to.

Baby steps, but damn it, that's about all that I am capable of right now.

George Bernard Shaw - “To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist.”

I managed to (eventually) find my composure after my semi-hysterical post yesterday. Only to lose it again today, when the filling fell out. Yes, the same filling. So here's what's going to happen. I am going to do whatever it takes to last until my dentist comes back on the 22nd of October. Wish me luck.

Cause I really need some dental love.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

I have a wonderful dentist.

He is gentle, personable and always looks out for my comfort. Little things, like bringing the chair back up when he is talking to me, so that I am not blinded by that bright light. 

Why this love-fest for my dentist ?

Cause he went on holiday, I developed toothache and was referred by his office to the DENTIST FROM HELLLLLLLLL.

I swear to god, I have never felt so small as when I was in this mans chair. I think a piece of meat would have been treated better. His manner was so arrogant and uncaring.

I shit you not, I am BLEEDING.

How the hell does a filling turn into me bleeding from the corner of my mouth and the filling site ?

It hurts worse now than when I had the damn toothache that prompted me to go to the dentist.

Edit: It's four hours later and I have just had to break out the good stuff..... i luuuv Panadeine Forte so muuuuch.

The Palinator..

I've been following the run up to the U.S elections with great interest for a while now. I, like most of the world, am curious to discover what the people who chose 8 years with that idiot are going to do now that they can't re-elect him.

Based on the issues, I  support Obama, (again,along with the rest of the world). 

The issues, though, only tell part of the story. I find myself becoming more and more a fan of Obama. I find him and his wife compelling speakers and I am interested in seeing what they would do to the White House, policywise. 

His world trip a few months ago was so fresh and original a move that I was left speechless. He managed to accomplish dialog with persons and nations that had previously turned away from the U.S in utter disgust at their foreign policy. 

McCain carries absolutely no appeal for me. He is increasingly annoying the shit out of me by repeatedly referring to Obama as elitist.

That's damn rich coming from a guy who can't remember how many houses he owns and thinks that if you have $5Million in the bank you are wealthy.

Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but most of the people in that country that you want to run ?

They make a lot less than that.

A lot. 

The thing that most bothers me though, is McCains VP pick. Palin disturbs me on so many levels that if I were a resident of the States, I would be prompted to volunteer for Obamas campaign and donate all my money just so that she would not come within striking distance of the White House.

The one issue (among many) that would prompt me to do this ?

Palin opposes abortion under any circumstances. She has stated that she will work towards a federal ban on abortion. 

If you are raped ? 

If you are a victim of incest ?

If your life was in danger because of the pregnancy ?

Sorry, but you would have to carry that child to term.

And suddenly, we are back to the days of back alley abortions and a shroud of secrecy over the whole process. Misinformation and doubt will rule...oh wait, you guys already have that in your "abstinence only" programs that have been shown, repeatedly, to be a failure.

Palin is the new head of a dangerous trend in the US of making policy based on reilgon. Separation of Church and State does not exist to these people and they think that their morality should be imposed on everyone.  (Seeing as how the U.S is the de-facto leader on this side of the globe, this means that U.S policy has a HUGE reigonal impact.) Bush junior started it by slashing US funding to Family Planning organizations operating in the third world, cause guess what, they handed out condoms and performed abortions. 

I simply cannot understand why any woman would vote for her. While I personally would not have an abortion, I will defend to the death your right to have one. 

It is our right to have that choice.

It scares me SHITLESS that if McCain were elected and died in office, that this woman would be President.

I need to go have a drink now.... 

Can I take that back ?

So I went and got a print out of my Linx transactions and took it in, but didn't need it, cause TSTT had all the records showing that my bill had been paid twice.

Sorry for bad-mouthing you TSTT, you didn't deserve it (this time)

I was soo ready to get on stink with someone.

Fyah Bun TSTT

Last month, after not getting a cell phone bill for three months (Thanks TTPOST you assholes), I got an automated message from TSTT letting me know that I was badly overdue to pay my cell phone bill to the tune of $800. 

No big, I knew the bill was going to be high and like I said I hadn't gotten a bill for 3 months, so I was actually owing for 4 months. 

So I went in to their West Mall B-Mobile branch. I lined up for 45 mins. I dealt with the bitchy CSR who "just knew" that I was going to end up paying two phone bills while I was infront of her. OHMYGAAAAWD you mean I have to type a little bit more on my little keyboard, TEH HAWWRAARRR!!!

Anyways, I digress. 

My mum just called. She happened to be paying her phone bill and decided to be helpful and pay off mine as well, to the tune of $800. 

Yep, my account said that I still owed the $800, which I find hilarious because if I did, I would have been disconnected looooong before now.

The best part ?

I don't have the receipt for the first payment that I made. I've just searched the whole house and practically ripped the carpet out of the car looking for the teeny little linx paper, cause like I said, I had no bill.

The ONE time that I did not file a receipt immediately and look what happens.

I am sooo pissed.

Fyah Bun TSTT.

You Fuckers.

Me + Sharp Object = A Whole Lotta Pain

There's me.

There's me with the potato peeler.

There's me peeling potatoes.

There's me, attempting to cut off her own finger with the potato peeler. (and almost suceeding)

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

We now interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for...

                         MUPPETS

This one had me rolling;

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck - George Carlin (1937 - 2008)

Shit

Piss 

Fuck

Motherfucker

Cocksucker

Cunt

Tits

Bye George!

Give em HELL !!

I've never known any trouble that an hour's reading didn't assuage. - Charles De Secondat

I read alot.

No, really.

ALOT.

Reading started for me, practically from birth. My grandmother would sit me in her lap every afternoon and when she wasn't reading one of my books, she would tell tall tales about what had happened to her that day. I marvel at her patience and her amazing imagination. I think she had cultivated both raising her family during World War 2 in England.  No television and three small children must have drove her crazy, so she told stories. Epic tales of How the Little White Mouse found Food, Peter the Canary and the Mirror. 

My mother used to fall asleep reading every night as I begged for another chapter. Please!!  I think she breathed a sigh of relief when I learned to read for myself. I grew up with Enid Blyton, the Fantastic Five, Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. Tucked in my bed with my glass of water on the side table I would sneak chapters long after bedtime.

When I outgrew those, I moved on to C. S. Lewis.  I think this is where my love for a "different" kind of tale comes from. Any religious tones were lost on me; but I loved the action, the talking animals and most of all the quality of writing.

During my early teens there were very few Young Adult themed books available, and those that were, I DETESTED. Sweet Valley High and Judy Blume were among the worst. Thankfully I grew up and managed to get my hands on Mills & Boons.

Those romances kept me interested in reading. Many of them had interesting story lines and kept my attention for the span of the book. Sandra Brown was my saviour during my angsty teen years.

When I was 19 I met the BF. He also loved reading but was totally unimpressed by my shelves of romance novels. He gave me my first Pratchett novel. I migrated from Romancelandia and became a solid citizen of Discworld that summer.

Whether I laugh or cry or grimace when my hero is hurt, a good story is a good story. My reading list these days is all over the board. Here are a few of the series I am following;

Anne Bishop - Dark Jewels/Ephemera - Very well written dark fantasy/romance. 

Kristen Britain - Green Rider - Reads like a light version of Mercedes Lackey's Arrows for the Queen. Girl goes on quest, outwits the bad guys (no sex). 

Jim Butcher- Dresden Files - Dresden is listed in the Phone book, under Wizard. Everyone thinks he's a joke, even the bad guys. (Little/no sex) 

Jacqueline Carey - Kushiel - Lots of sex/violence, kept me wanting to find out what happens next. 

Charlaine Harris - Southern Vampire/Harper Connelly- The harper Connelly series is among my favs right now. Girl was hit by lightning, can now find dead bodies/how they died. 

E.E. Knight - Vampire Earth - Humans are literally farmed for the vampire overlords, guerrilla warfare ensues. Detailed storyline that drags you along on the missions. 

George R.R. Martin - A Song of Ice and Fire - Alternative historical World Building at its finest. Story is told from the POV of a rotating cast. Murder/betrayal/magic it's all here. (Little/no sex) 

Simon R. Green - Nightside- the nightside is just down that alley and around the way, twisted modern fairytales. (Little/no sex) 

Greg Keyes - Kingdom of Thorn and Bone - World building/character building in an epic alternative historical that will have you rooting for your fav. character. (Little/no Sex) 

Laurell K. Hamilton - Anita Blake Vampire Hunter - Books 1-10 in this series are among my all time favs,with lots of well written sex/violence scenes. After #10 ABVH takes a sharp turn into Anti Blake Vampire Boinker. Read 1-10 and just pretend that there aren't any more books after that. 

Kim Harrison - Hollows - The first book starts off cheesy, but keep reading! Modern witch with modern problems including a demon that she owes a favour. 

J. R. Ward - Black Dagger Brotherhood - Total Romance. Yes, the names are TOTAL CHEESE, but stop rolling your eyes and keep reading. I'm pretty certain that J.R Ward is a pseudonym as no one comes out the gates with such a well written first novel. 

JD Robb -Dallas - Nora Roberts pseudonym. Set in the gritty future, Eve Dallas is a homicide cop with an awful past. Each novel is a new murder mystery, the romance spans the series. 

Karen Traviss - Wess'har Wars - Humans set off to colonize world. Aliens are already there. A human environmental cop has to balance the species. 

Elizabeth Moon - Vatta's War - Doing business across galaxies can be deadly. (no sex)

I hope that any future readers of this blog might pick up a book in my list and maybe enjoy it :)

Health is not valued till sickness comes.- Dr. Thomas Fuller

Many, many blog-worthy things have happened since my last post.

Unfortunately, I was too busy dealing with them to blog about them.

1) The BF ended up having to be re-admitted to the ER three days after we had left. His gallbladder has taken the blame for this. A week, Shit loads of antibiotics and my firstborn child later, we escaped the hospital.

2) I have started smoking again. See above for the reason why.

3) The BF is now on a no Oil, Milk or Dairy Diet.

We're drinking Soy Milk, people. Soy. Milk.

Bleh. 

4) The major causes of gallbladder disease are; heavy drinking and high cholesterol. The BF has low cholesterol and drinks once in a blue moon. This caused his doctor to comment that he may have a genetic enzyme deficiency.

WTF ? Whuuuuuuut???

Wouldn't this have come up before ohhh saaaay the LAST 31 FUCKING YEARS THAT HE'S BEEN ALIVE ???

Needless to say, we are seeking a second opinion.

I think I should have the option of skipping the rest of this year, don't you ?

May you live in interesting times - Chinese curse

I came home from visiting friends last night at about 8pm to find that the BF was having stomach "issues". The kind of issues that required me to take him to the ER (finally) at about 1am this morning. He was GREY and writhing in pain, I knew that he had to go, it was just a matter of waiting until HE realised it.
We have no health insurance and our Visa debit card only allows withdrawals/purchases up to $3,000 a day. We had walked with $1,000 in cash which was quickly sucked up by the Stomach X-Rays and blood tests in the ER.
The blood tests came back with an elevated pancreatic enzyme, so they wanted to admit him.
We had to call his mother to come and pay the $8,500 deposit required by the clinic for admittance. Thanks Aunty !
An IV drip, 2 doses of Zantac, Gravol and Boralgin (sp?) later and he was still hurting bad. By that stage he had been retching so much that everything was tinged with blood, he had burst some tiny vessels in the whites of his eyes and was asking me to put him out of his misery.
It wasn't until about 2:30am when they finally relented and gave him a shot of Demerol that he got relief.
I hung around until he told me to go home at about 3am this morning.
He was re-tested at 7:30 this morning, the levels came back normal and he was allowed to come home at midday.
All in all, it could have been allot worse, I am very grateful that the Great Food Poisoning Episode of 2008 only came up to $3,800 and we can pay back his mother immediately.
I will be looking into Health Insurance on Monday.

On another note I weighed 216 lbs this morning.  I have not exercised since the Billy Blanks debacle a few days ago and I ate a whole loaf of fresh baked bread that I did after my stove was fixed.

Joy !

A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise - Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne

The hose that connects my LPG cylinder to my stove cracked yesterday. A replacement hose couldn't be found until this morning. So I used that as an excuse to go out, buy and eat 2 doubles for breakfast and a 3 piece snack pack of fried chicken for dinner last night.

Yay Me!

This isn't the end of the world. It just means that I am going to watch what I eat very closely for the next few days.

I'm also going to increase my workouts.
Ugh.

I am already a trembling mess after trying to follow fucking Billy Blanks and his disgustingly fit lady friends on the "Ultimate Boot Camp, Abs" DVD last night.

Dude, here's a HINT. The people who buy your DVD's are. not. fit.

They would like to be, thus they purchase your DVD's to follow your tight ass as you bounce through various contortions like Stretch Armstrong on CRACK.
Mr. Blanks, you asking the audience if they would like to do push-ups made me laugh as I couldn't get my fat ass off the floor after 15 mins of attempting to make my body do bad things to itself.


Anyone want a slightly used Billy Blanks exercise DVD and exercise mat ?

My weight this morning was 216.5lbs.

I was so convinced that the scale was wrong that I had the BF hop on. The good news is that the scale is correct. The Bad News... I'm 5lbs heavier than the BF.

SHIT.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease - R. D. Laing

I decided that I would stick with famous quotes as titles. I promptly found the most ironic and sarcastic quotes ever uttered or written. You'll be seeing quite a lot of them in the future.

Heh.

I weighed myself this morning, just out of curiosity.

217lbs.

Huh?

How in the hell did I lose a half pound in a day ?
I drank craploads of water, had a full meal for lunch and a sandwich for dinner, with a huge bowl of salad in between. The only thing I did differently was walk for 20 mins on the treadmill yesterday. Did I really sweat off 1/2 a lb ?

I knew I was sweating alot, but daaaaaamn.

I'm sure I'm going to look back at this and laugh when I am struggling to maintain a healthy weight, but right now with a B.M.I of 38.4%, I am torn between being shocked/pleased.

On another note, since thyroid "issues" run in my family, I have decided that I am going to have my thyroid levels checked tomorrow.
My hair has been thinning for a while now, with my individual hair shafts also thinning. I don't have any other symptoms, but the hand fulls of hair that fall out all over the place every damn day are getting to me (the sight of scalp where once grew hair is also deeply disturbing).
I would like to be able to have my hair down without it turning into a major frizz ball. The rate of growth is also annoying, I've been trying to grow out this particular cut for what seems like years now.
I don't know if to hope that they find something, or if to hope that the levels are normal and my hair is just having a bad year.

*sigh*

Ah gorrrn.

Every journey begins with a single step.

I've always wanted to use that quote somewhere :)

I am hoping to change my life and my lifestyle.

I quit smoking 9 days ago on Friday 2nd May 2008.
Prior to this I was smoking between 2-3 packs per day. Quitting has been amazingly easy and unbelieveably hard to accomplish at the same time.
I quit cold turkey. I ran out of ciggs on a friday night and just said, "Fuckit, I'm done."
Some days I breeze through, other times every goddammed second seems to last an eternity and all I want to do is pick up my car keys and drive to the grocery or gas station so I can get a fucking SMOKE.
I have not had a ciggarette in 9 days, I am very proud of myself.

I honestly didn't know that I would be able to accomplish this.

I weighed 220lbs on the 2nd May 2008. This was the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I was drinking a whole 2 litre Coca-Cola by myself every day.

As of today, Tuesday 13th May 2008, I am 217.5 lbs. I am very well aware that I will never reach my supposed "goal" weight of 140lbs and I am fine with that.
I have no goal weight in mind. I just want to be healthier.

I want to be able to buy clothes that I look good in, not just whatever can fit. 

I think that's going to be it for my first post. I just wanted to get that off of my chest and out there into the wilds of the internet.

See ya round.